


In Between

by dancey94



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blow Jobs, Car Accidents, Cheating, Clubbing, Drinking, Kissing, M/M, Moral Dilemmas, One Night Stands, Public Blow Jobs, Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-14 13:44:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4566765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancey94/pseuds/dancey94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night at a club changes Will's life completely</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I believe it's my drink

“Whiskey, straight” Will asks a barman and turns to watch the dancefloor.

It’s been some time since he last was in a club. He’s never been a sociable and open person but he likes to have a drink from time to time and maybe even dance.

He turns back to the bar and sees another barman place a glass of whiskey in front of Will. He grabs the glass and suddenly, a big warm hand closes over his.

“I believe it’s my drink” says the owner of the hand.

Will turns to look at the man.

“Um, sorry” Will says and lowers his head.

“That’s quite alright”

Will smiles faintly, still looking everywhere but at the man.

“Not fond of eye contact, are you?” the man asks.

“Not particularly. Eyes are distracting. You see too much, you don’t see enough”

“I see. Well, you can judge a person without looking into their eyes but I believe it’s in the eyes where you can truly find the person”

Pretentious, Will thinks and finally gets his drink.

“Forgive me, I tend to analyse everything. And forgive me for beginning a conversation without introducing myself. My name is Hannibal” the man says and extends his hand.

Will extends his own and shakes Hannibal’s.

“Will”

“Nice to meet you, Will” the man smiles wider “Are you here alone?”

“Yes. You?”

“Yes. I don’t go out very often. I mean, I don’t go to clubs very often. I prefer other public places”

“Like what?”

“Opera. Theatre”

Pretentious again.

“So why did you come here tonight?” Will asks and gulps his whole drink.

“I wanted to unwind. Have a drink or two, maybe even dance” Will nods “What about you? Do you come here often?”

“Not really, no. I had a rough day and also needed to let off steam”

Hannibal smiles and orders another two drinks.

“You don’t have to…” Will starts explaining.

“I want to” Hannibal says and they clank their glasses.

They finish another drink and Hannibal touches Will’s arm.

“Do you want to dance?”

“Um. Okay”

Hannibal slides his hand down to grab one of Will’s and the man leads them to the dancefloor. They start to move, to shake their hips and turn around. Hannibal is bold enough to place his hands on Will’s waist. Then, he grabs Will’s hand again and spins the man. Will laughs and then stands closer to Hannibal, pressing his back against the man.

Will spreads his hands over Hannibal’s sides and slides down. Then Hannibal reaches for Will’s hand and turns him almost violently towards himself. Hannibal takes Will’s arms and stretches them up. He slides his hands down Will’s upper limbs, then he touches Will’s face and neck.

“You have lovely eyes” Hannibal says.

Will breathes heavily and blushes gently. He places his hands on Hannibal’s shoulders and shakes his head. He laughs.

“Did I say something amusing?”

“No, I… No”

Will presses closer to Hannibal and shakes his hips.

“How about another drink?” Hannibal proposes.

Will looks directly into Hannibal’s eyes and nods. They approach the bar and this time Hannibal orders a drink Will hasn’t heard of. They get the glasses and Will feels his phone buzz in his pants. He flinches but doesn’t pick up. They finish the drink and a song changes. It’s slower now, more sensual somehow.

Hannibal leads them again to the centre of the club and they press closely together. Will puts his hands on Hannibal’s shoulders and feels the man’s hands on his back. Then the hands move lower, to the small of Will’s back.

Will entangles his fingers in Hannibal’s hair, a bit longer than his and straight. Hannibal groans and Will hears it even despite the loud music. It’s so sexy.

Will rubs his cheek against Hannibal’s and somehow ends up nuzzling the man’s neck. He places a kiss there and feels how the man breathes out. The hands move lower again, reaching his ass. Will snorts and then looks at Hannibal’s face. The man is smiling. He’s got wide plump lips, with the upper lip shaped in a strange but sexual way. Will licks his own lips.

Hannibal must have caught the action because he leans closer and connects their lips in a gentle kiss. Will reaches around to press the man’s hand on his ass harder so that he was pushing against Hannibal and could rub his erection against him.

When Hannibal feels something hard press against him deliciously, he bites at Will’s lower lip and then pulls away. He smirks and grabs Will by the hand. They go to the restroom. Hannibal leads them further and they enter one of the stalls. Hannibal presses Will against the wall and kisses him again. Will moans straight into the man’s throat.

Hannibal reaches down to undo Will’s trousers and they fall on the floor. Then he dives inside Will’s boxers and gently touches Will’s cock. He starts to pump it, stroke it. That makes Will moan louder and throw his head back. Hannibal starts kissing Will’s neck.

“Uhhh, tighter” Willl groans.

Hannibal laughs and tightens the grip on Will’s girth. He moves lower and kisses Will’s chest through the t-shirt. Then he pulls it up a bit and kisses and licks at Will’s belly. Finally he stops stroking and pushes down the boxers.

He looks up at Will, who is watching him, and takes him into his mouth. He swallows him. Hannibal’s tongue licks and laps at Will’s cock and he sucks. It doesn’t last long and Will comes straight into Hannibal’s mouth. The man takes everything but then spits it in the toilet next to them.

Will’s legs bend and he almost falls at the floor. Hannibal stands up and kisses him again. Will presses a hand on Hannibal’s front and feels the man’s own erection.

“Take me someplace else. Your place, hotel room, anywhere” Will says, still breathless.

Hannibal smiles and they leave the club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's not going to be a bad porno as it started xD   
> tomorrow next chapter and You'll see where i'm going with this :D


	2. My husband

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, um... oops? :D

Will wakes up when it’s already sunny outside. He groans gently and frowns. He’s not in his flat. He doesn’t know where he is. He turns and sees a man still sleeping beside him. Will sighs.

He stands up, careful not to wake up the man in bed, and picks up his clothes. He’s naked. So they… He…

Will quickly dresses up and shuts the door behind him. He’s hopeless. He takes out his phone and sees five missed calls.

He goes home to find an empty flat. He sits on a couch and looks around the room. What now? Should he act like nothing happened?

Will turns on his laptop and checks his emails. He tries not to think.

Then, his phone buzzes and there is a number displayed on the screen. He doesn’t know it. He answers.

When the call ends he hurries to the door and takes his car. He drives to the hospital.

He approaches the reception.

“My name is Will Graham. The hospital just called me about Matthew Brown. Can you tell me how he is?”

“Matthew Brown?” the woman in the reception looks through some papers on the desk and then looks at Will “He’s in an operating room. There was a car accident and Mr Brown was one of the participants”

“So he’s being operated?”

“Yes. We have really good doctors taking care of him now. Please, you may sit down and wait if you want. It may take a while”

“Thank you”

Will turns and takes a seat. He feels dizzy. His stomach feels funny. There is a noise in his head and a strange lightness in his belly. Only his shoulders feel heavy. It’s like he lost control over his body.

He looks at the clock. Then he sees people come and go. Some are mournful, some are happy. He wonders what news awaits him. For now, he’s in between. And for as long as he is hanging in the cloud of unawareness, there is still hope.

He closes his eyes and drowns in the noise of his own head. The time passes differently now.

Suddenly, the door to the operating room opens and Will’s mouth opens involuntarily. His eyes widen and he feels sick.

“Will?” one of the doctors says.

Will feels saltiness in his mouth and he looks around for the door to the restroom. He hurries inside and kneels in front of the toilet. He throws up.

He feels a steady warm hand on his shoulder and he knows the man is crouching beside him.

“Are you alright now?”

“You were operating on Matthew?” Will asks upon turning to face the doctor.

“The man I was just operating on?” Will nods “He lost a lot of blood. The operation went well but the man is still unconscious. It’ll take a while until he wakes”

“Hannibal…” Will whispers.

The man strokes Will’s hair and Will feels his stomach flip. He leans over the toilet and pukes again.

There is not much to be thrown out from his organism; he hasn’t eaten since last afternoon. And then he had a few drinks that probably already left his bloodstream. Drinks with Hannibal.

The doctor stands up and takes a piece of paper towel. He hands it to Will, who grabs it and wipes his mouth. He finally stands up and approaches the sink. He splashes water over his face and then gargles his throat with the cold water.

“Better?” Hannibal asks.

Will nods shakily and looks through the window on his right.

“May I see him?”

“Not now. Maybe in a few hours”

Will sighs and waits for Hannibal to ask the question hanging between them.

“May I ask who he is?”

Finally. Somehow, Will feels relieved. He looks directly into Hannibal’s eyes and speaks.

“My husband”

Hannibal’s face remains untouched. A muscle in his cheek twitches gently and then he smiles faintly.

“Go home, have some rest and come again in the evening. Perhaps he’s awoken by then. I’ll tell Miranda to call you, should he wakes up earlier”

Will nods. But what is he supposed to do at home? Alone. He’d rather sit here and watch people pacing through the corridor.

He looks at Hannibal and thinks perhaps leaving is a better option. He silently leaves the restroom and then exits the hospital.

He goes for a walk to the park nearby and sits on a bench. He takes out his phone. There is no one he could call and tell about everything. Should he call Beverly? She’s the closest to what he considers a friend.

Before he can think better of it, he dials her number.

“Will?” she sounds surprised.

“Hi. Listen, do you have any free time today to spare for me?”

“Um. Yeah, sure. I’m having a lunch break in a… an hour”

“Could you meet me in a café opposite the hospital?” he asks.

“All right. Has something happened, Will?”

“I’d rather tell you in person”

“Okay, see you in an hour”

He hangs up and looks around. His phone buzzes in his pocket.

“Hello?”

“Is this Will Graham?”

“Yes. Who’s calling?”

“I’m from the police department. I’m calling about your husband, Matthew Brown”

“All right”

“Could you come to the precinct so we could talk?”

“Um. Okay. I’ll be there in ten minutes”

“Look for Frederick Chilton”

Will hangs up and starts walking. He realises he’s still wearing yesterday’s clothes. He sighs and goes to the precinct. On his way there he gets a call from his boss, Jack Crawford, but he tells him he’s got personal problems and he won’t be available for the rest of the day and probably for the next day as well.

He enters the precinct and approaches the first police officer he sees.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for Frederick Chilton”

The man looks at Will with pity and points at a man yelling at someone behind a glass door.

Will sees another police officer leave Chilton’s office and he enters it.

“I’m Will Graham. You called me?”

“Ah, yes! Mr Graham” the man points at a chair near the desk “Please, have a seat”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“That’s why I called you” the man says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world (which it kind of is) “Mr Brown’s car, a silver Chevrolet, was hit this morning by a truck. The driver was sober and he was driving on the right side. It was Mr Brown who lost control over the vehicle and ran into the truck. There is a few additional things to this case. Firstly, I wonder if maybe Mr Brown wanted to commit suicide that way?”

Will almost chokes on his spit and air.

“Excuse me?!”

“If you look through the window, you’ll see a beautiful weather. It was like this all morning. The road wasn’t slippery, there was no storm. Why would Mr Brown have problems with controlling his car? There was nothing wrong with the brakes. Nothing wrong with anything in the car, as a matter of fact. It works, well, worked perfectly”

“He wouldn’t have… He had no reason”

Suddenly, the door to the office opens and an officer comes in.

“Sir, we found a phone in Mr Brown’s car”

“How many times do I have to tell you to knock?” Chilton asks and rises from his seat.

He asks Will to go with him and they go to see the phone.

“It was under the driver’s seat. He was probably calling someone and then lost control over the vehicle. Maybe he dropped the phone and wanted to lift it and then-”

“Yes, thank you, officer, for your elaborate theory but I am responsible here for inferring the most probable course of action” Chilton says and then asks “Can we see if he called anyone right before the accident?”

“When exactly did it happen?” Will asks.

“Ten twenty three. The truck had a system registering everything on the road”

Will nods and checks his own phone. Five missed calls from Matthew. The last one at ten twenty two. A minute before the accident. So he was calling Will.

Will feels guilt flick his stomach and he expects to throw up again.

“Could you show me a way to the restroom?” Will asks one of the policemen.

“Of course”

Chilton frowns and Will disappears in the restroom. He pukes in the toilet and then wipes his mouth. He can’t remember the last time he threw up, excluding this morning in the hospital.

When he reappears next to Chilton, the policemen look at Will in a very accusatory manner. Will sighs and shows them his phone.

“He was calling me right before the accident”

“Yes. We already checked”

“So the accident was all his fault” Will concludes and leaves the ‘and partly mine’ silent.

“Yes” Chilton confirms "When he leaves the hospital, he'll face the charges of causing danger on the road"

Will grimaces at that. No one got hurt during the accident but Matthew. 

“Can I go now?” Will asks.

“You look a little pale” Chilton says.

“I don’t feel very well. My husband is in hospital and I haven’t eaten all day”

Will leaves the precinct and looks at the time. He goes to the café where he is supposed to meet Beverly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i only just now realised it may resemble the plot from "Open hearts" but i'll try to make it different (i actually forgot how the movie went xD) and i hope You'll enjoy it :D


	3. I care about him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Will feels his eyes getting wet._
> 
> _“I’m so sorry”_
> 
> _Will takes out a packet with tissues and wipes his eyes._
> 
> _“Why do you always have to be so stubborn?”_

"Are you alright, Will? You look like a ghost” Beverly says when she sees Graham.

Will sits opposite her and a waiter approaches them.

“I already ordered” Bev says and Will nods.

“I’ll have a coffee” Will says.

“Will, you should eat something”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I already threw up two times today”

“What happened?” Beverly asks with wide and curious eyes.

Will takes a deep breath and rubs his hands around his eyes.

“Matthew is in the hospital”

“Is he okay?”

“I don’t know. He was in a car accident. Apparently he wanted to call me and his phone slipped out of his hand, he wanted to pick it up and ran straight into a truck”

“Oh my god. Not surprising you look like shit” Will smiles faintly “I’m sorry” she adds.

“That’s not the end of the story” Will whispers.

“Does it get any worse?” Bev asks, shocked.

The waiter brings their orders and Will sips on his coffee.

“We had a fight. Again. This time I was afraid he’d hit me. We yelled and I told him I’d sleep at a friend’s”

“I didn’t know you were fighting. I thought you were happy together”

“We were. We are. We just started talking about some stuff we never broached before and it turned out we were in different places in this relationship. I don’t know… But knowing he’s in the hospital because of me…”

“He’s not there because of you. He was reckless. It was an accident. You’re not responsible”

“I fucked up” Will laughs.

“Will-”

“No. You still don’t know the whole story. We fought, I left and went to a club. I had a drink, met a guy, we had a couple more drinks and I… we ended up in a restroom. He blew me and then we left. He took me to his flat and, honestly? I don’t remember what happened next. But I can imagine”

“Wow. You really fucked up. But Matthew doesn’t know, does he?”

“No. He’s still unconscious. I’ll go to the hospital later. I’ll wait till he awakes”

“Will you tell him? About your hook-up?” Bev asks.

“No! I mean… Do you think I should?”

“Definitely no if you want to stay with him”

“I do”

“Then keep your mouth shut and make it up to him. You’re a cute couple”

“I really like him, Bev. I care about him”

*****

Will enters the hospital and almost instantly bumps into Hannibal.

“Sorry, I…oh. Forgive me”

“Matthew is in the room 207. It’s a room on the left side of this corridor” Hannibal points with his hand and smiles politely.

“Thanks” Will replies and Hannibal disappears in an operating room.

Will goes further and looks for the room. Not a difficult task. He enters the room and sees Matthew lying in the hospital bed. He looks so peaceful.

Will approaches him and looks for a chair. He sits next to the bed and strokes Matt’s arm. Matthew’s chest is naked if not for some cables and tubes. Will pulls the sheets up and covers his husband’s body.

“I’m sorry” Will whispers.

He leans closer and kisses Matt’s forehead, then cheek.

“I miss you” Will smiles.

It’s only been one day, not even one whole day, since Will fought with Matthew and he regrets it. Maybe it’s because of the fact that Matt’s life was, probably still is, in danger. But Will genuinely cares about Matthew. Even if they were to split, he’d still have plenty of happy memories.

“Can you hear me?” Will asks “Matthew, please, come back to me”

Will feels his eyes getting wet.

“I’m so sorry”

Will takes out a packet with tissues and wipes his eyes.

“Why do you always have to be so stubborn?”

Will hears knocking at the door frame and he turns to check who’s interrupting him. Hannibal. Will sighs.

“Forgive me but you look really pale. Can I get you something to eat or drink?” the doctor offers.

“No, I…had a coffee. I’ll be fine. Do you know when he’ll wake up?”

“No” Hannibal says, calmly and looks at the man in bed “Honestly, he may not even wake up today”

“What? You said-”

“We did everything we could and now it’s up to his organism. I’m sorry but all we can do now is wait”

“So it’s not…certain that he wakes up?”

“Don’t lose hope, Will”

“No, no, no. Wait. Is he in a coma?” Will asks.

“Technically, not. He’s just under the influence of anaesthesia. But he’s weak and the influence is stronger than in other cases. So we can’t predict when he wakes”

“But he will” Will prompts.

“I’ll get you a snack from the vending machine” Hannibal says and disappears.

Will turns to Matthew again and strokes the man’s cheek. He wants to slap him.

“Would you have not dropped the phone had I picked it up?”

There is so many questions in Will’s head, so much doubt, so many scenarios in which everything is fine.

If they hadn’t fought. If he hadn’t left. If he hadn’t met Hannibal. If he had come home right after the blowjob in the bar.

But it’s too late now and he has to face whatever is waiting for him.

Hannibal comes back and approaches Will.

“Here” he hands him a packet of biscuits and a cup of coffee “You need energy. Though I wouldn’t recommend too much of this” he points at the coffee “and rather a more nourishing dinner”

“Thanks”

“I can tell someone in the kitchen to cook something for you” Hannibal offers.

“No. There’s no need. Thank you for the cookies and for the coffee”

“I’m working till seven and visitors are admitted till eight. Should I tell anyone you’ll stay longer?”

“If you don’t mind. I want to stay and wait until he wakes up”

Hannibal nods and leaves the room.

Will drinks the coffee and opens the packet with cookies. He takes one.

He sits there, with his hands stroking Matt’s arm gently. Can he speed things up this way? Will Matthew feel it and open his eyes?

Will yawns and leans in his chair. He keeps looking at Matthew but his eyelids feel heavy.

*****

Will wakes when it’s dark outside and even inside. There is little light coming from the corridor but otherwise the room is completely dark. There is a blanket over him and he frowns. He adjusts his eyes and looks at the clock. Almost midnight.

Matthew is lying in the same position as before. Nothing changed. His dark short hair still in place, lips forming a straight line. Will shakes his head. This is hopeless. He doesn’t know when Matt will wake up and sitting here is not really helping.

Will stands up, places a kiss on Matthew’s cheek and leaves. He goes home and on his way there he buys a burger. He collapses on his bed and feels hollow. The bed is empty and lacking the warmth of Matt’s body. The place is quiet, lacking Matthew’s slow breathing or murmuring.

*****

Will is at the hospital back at nine in the morning. He has a bottle of water and a book he took from home. He’s got headphones. If today isn’t the day Matthew wakes up, then Will is going to return to work and visit his husband in the evenings or any other time he’ll be free.

Will goes to the room 207 and sits in the chair.

“Hello, darling” Will says upon kissing his husband’s cheek.

Will takes out the book he brought and smiles at Matthew.

“I know you hate this book so I hope you’ll wake up if only to tell me to stop reading it”

Will opens at the first page and starts reading.

“ _My father was a king and the son of kings. He was a short man, as most of us were, and built like a bull, all shoulders. He married my mother when she was fourteen and sworn by the priestess to be fruitful. It was a good match: she was an only child, and her father’s fortune would go to her husband_ ”

Will continues reading and makes short pauses for drinking water or going to the toilet. When he returns he hopes Matthew will already be awake but he’s not so Will goes on torturing his husbands with the book.

Some time after ten a doctor is supposed to check on Matthew. Or rather, the doctor. Hannibal.

He walks in, smiles when he sees Will, and checks all the functions and tubes and there is not much more for him to do. But he stays a moment longer, watches the items Will brought with him. He turns to Will, who is holding the book in his hands.

“What are you reading?” Hannibal asks.

“ _The song of Achilles_. He hates it. I thought that maybe…” Will laughs at his stupid idea.

“That it would irritate him enough to wake up” Hannibal chuckles.

“Yeah”

“Keep reading, Will. Maybe you’ll succeed. No one ever has come up with such an idea. Everyone reads books the patient loves”

Will smiles.

“I see you came prepared” Hannibal observes.

“Yes. I had breakfast and am ready to spend here all day. But if he doesn’t wake up, I’ll need to go back to work and think about other things”

“I believe that’s a healthy solution”

Hmmm. Believe. Will knows all too well people resort to faith and god (many different gods, in fact) in this kind of situations. But Will isn’t a believer. And he cannot get himself to start believing now. What he believes is closer to science fiction than anything in the Bible. God can’t save any of us because it’s inelegant, he tends to repeat.

Suddenly, a nurse appears in the room.

“Dr Lecter! A kid with a bullet in his chest was just brought in. Quickly!”

Hannibal’s smile vanishes and he leaves the room. Will stands up and peeks out of the room to catch one last glance of the surgeon. Will turns on the tv and it turns out there was a shooting at the orphanage nearby. What a psycho shoots the kids in an orphanage? Luckily, the police caught the guy but that won’t bring back to life three children he managed to kill.

Will turns off the tv and keeps reading the book to Matthew. In the afternoon, he goes to the nearest fast food restaurant to get a snack and then he comes back.

When Will enters the room 207, he finds Hannibal by Matthew’s bed. The doctor is sitting in the chair and reads the book Will brought. Will frowns but then smiles gently. He steps quietly closer to the bed but Hannibal hears him and turns.

“Forgive me, I’m having a break and I thought I’d check out on your husband. I took the liberty to continue reading where you stopped”

“That’s alright” Will says in a low tone.

Will looks at Matthew and sighs.

“Do you always treat patients like that?” Will asks.

“Whenever I have a minute or two I try to see to all the patients. Surgery is one thing. Recovery after that is something else. Often it’s the hours after the operation that decides about a patient’s future”

“How’s that kid from the orphanage?”

“He’s on the floor right above us, in the room 417. He’s already awoken”

“That’s good”

“He doesn’t have anyone to visit him. I was going to see him right after Matthew” Hannibal explains.

“You could read this to him” Will points at the book in the doctor’s hands “The beginning is suitable for kids”

“I know. I’ve read this book” Hannibal smiles.

“You have? Did you like it?” Will asks.

“Very. I used to read a lot about ancient Greece and I was fascinated by the story of Achilles and other half gods. I consider this book an earlier version of Romeo and Juliet” Hannibal chuckles.

“A better version” Will amends.

Hannibal nods, places a bookmark where he stopped reading and puts the book down. He stands up and leaves the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope some questions were answered and that You liked the chapter ^^  
> also "The Song of Achilles" is an amazing book and if You like gay fics or ancient Greek motifs then it's definitely a book for You (prepare for the feels)


	4. We're adults

The next day Will doesn’t appear in the hospital until late afternoon.

He goes to Quantico, talks to Jack about his current situation but says he’ll manage juggling work with visiting Matthew.

When he’s finally released in the afternoon, he goes to the hospital. He notices the book he brought vanished and he frowns. He sits in the chair next to Matthew’s bed and sighs. How much longer?

Will opens his notebook and starts making assumption about the new case. He never really did that, never used a pad to create a map of associations. Now, he has time to do this and whenever he’s stuck, he looks at Matthew, strokes his arm and comes up with a new idea.

Later in the evening Hannibal appears in the room. He’s holding Will’s book.

“Forgive me, I borrowed it and read it to the child from the orphanage”

“It’s all right”

Hannibal hands Will the book and looks at his notebook, full of scribbles. Will catches the glance and starts explaining.

“It’s for work”

Hannibal nods and looks for another chair to sit next to Will.

“Do you mind if I sit here with you for a while?”

“Don’t you have anymore work to do, or a place you need to be?”

“I just finished my shift. And no, I’m not expected anywhere”

“I’m sorry, I’m such a dick. Please, I’ll be glad if you stay”

Hannibal takes another chair and places it next to Will.

“So may I ask where you work?”

“I’m a profiler. I work for the FBI”

“Oh. That’s fascinating”

“Not as much as it may sound. I need to think a lot and sometimes my brain just shuts after a long day. And, you know, profiling the killers? You have to figure out what they want, why they do what they do… Not a fun thing to do”

“But when you profile a killer, they catch him so you have your share in saving people he might otherwise have killed”

“Well, yes. That’s mostly why I’m still doing this. But it takes a toll on me”

“No wonder”

“I often feel like I’m the killer. I feel guilty”

“But you’re not. You’re a good person, Will”

Graham smiles faintly. He looks into Hannibal’s eyes and sees affection and selflessness.

“What about you? Why did you become a surgeon?”

“I was always fascinated by the human body and mind. I figured I wanted to save people, just like you, and I applied to a medical school. If I’m perfectly honest it’s just a great feeling when someone’s life is in your hands, even if for a slightest moment”

“You feel powerful when you operate”

“Yes”

Will’s pupils dilate. Hannibal would make a great killer if he wasn’t emanating this selflessness. It’s like he’s the opposite of a murderer but with the same traits.

Hannibal looks at Matthew, then at his watch.

“I’m starving. I’m afraid I’m going to leave you now”

“It’s okay. Thank you for… everything”

When Hannibal leaves the room, Will takes the book and resumes reading. He stops after a half an hour and goes home. He calls Jack and reads the notes he’s made to him.

 

Will groans at the news of the next victim three states away. He’ll have to leave Matthew.

He comes to the hospital right before his flight and kisses the man goodbye.

“I hope you’re awake by the time I’m back. Don’t make me wait any longer”

“Will?”

Will turns and sees Hannibal in the door to the room.

“Hi”

“Will you be staying here for long?” the doctor asks.

“No, I actually came to say goodbye before I leave. A case is forcing me to abandon Matthew for a few days”

“Oh, I see. Well, don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on him”

Hannibal offers a smile and Will feels warmth growing inside him.

“Thank you”

“Have a safe journey, Will”

 

The four days he has to endure in the heat of the summer sun far away from his unconscious husband is the worst four days of his life. It’s like he went to hell to see what awaits him when he dies.

The lead goes cold and Will is constantly told off by Jack for his inability to give more details about the killer. All this anxiety and anger combined with the hellish temperature makes Will go mad.

He spends the evenings in the hotel room looking at pictures of him and Matthew. It’s hopeless. He puts the phone on the nightstand by the bed, wishing it would wake him in the middle of the night. He’d give a lot for the hospital to call him that his husband is finally awake, even if at two am.

No such call takes place and Will returns home after four days of goose chasing.

He goes to the hospital and sits by Matthew’s bed. Nothing’s changed.

Matthew's grown a stubble now and his hair is almost unnoticeably longer but it seems as if the time just stopped here. Will kisses his husband on the forehead.

“Still here, huh? You let me suffer all this heat without even one hot phone call”

Will sits on the chair and looks at his husband. He tells him about the case and about Jack and everything that happened during those four days. Then he sighs and laughs bitterly.

“I hope you can’t hear me because I need to tell you something without you actually hearing it”

Will looks through the window and then again at Matthew’s face.

“It didn’t mean anything. I don’t know why it happened. But I… I was so mad at you and I had a few drinks. I know it doesn’t justify the fact that I cheated on you but… Matthew, I’m so sorry. Is this a punishment for what I did? Because I want to make it up to you anyway I can”

Will spends a few more minutes in the room and then decides to leave the hospital. On his way to the exit he sees Hannibal walking out of an staff room.

“Hello, Will. When did you return?” the man asks with a polite smile.

“Just today. I talked to Matthew but I need to eat something”

“Oh, I… I’m just finishing work. I don’t mean to impose but if you want, you can wait five minutes and I could drive us to a nice little restaurant”

Will frowns. Should he take the man up on the offer?

“I’m sorry, Will. I see I made you uncomfortable”

“No, I… I’m just not sure if it’s a good idea”

“I understand. You believe it would be awkward”

“Well… Wouldn’t it?”

“We’re adults. We can have dinner as two acquaintances, can’t we?”

Will thinks he’s going mad and he doesn’t know why but he nods and leaves with the man.

Hannibal drives them to a restaurant not far from Will’s home and they enter the building. The men sit in a booth by a window and a waiter approaches them to hand them menus. Will looks through the names of the meals and wonders if there is even one he is familiar with. He ends up ordering the same as Hannibal.

They are given a glass of water while they wait and Will drinks the water to keep himself busy.

“So how was your trip?”

Will chuckles.

“You make it sound like it was for fun”

“Forgive me”

“No, it’s okay. It was terrible, though. Hot and dry. And we didn’t move forward with the case”

“You have a spouse in hospital, you seem to be lacking sleep. No wonder you have difficulties thinking clearly”

“Yeah. Do you know something more? I mean, if he wakes up soon”

“No. I’m afraid his condition remains the same”

Will nods.

“I’m sorry I’m mentioning this but-”

“It’s all right, Will. It’s normal you care about your husband”

“Yeah” Will rubs his neck “It didn’t seem like it the night I met you. I bet you think the worst of me”

“Nonsense. Will, let me be honest with you. I enjoyed the evening with you. And I’d be glad if we could be friends. I understand you had your reasons to be at the club that night and do whatever you did. And I also understand you may regret it. But I don’t despise you”

Will smiles faintly and looks at the waiter who sets plates with their meals on their table.

“I care about Matthew. I don’t…regret what happened that night, even if I don’t remember much, but that was a mistake”

“Wait. You don’t remember?”

“No. I mean, it’s fairly obvious what happened but I can’t remember anything after we went to your place”

Hannibal chuckles and Will frowns.

“Forgive me, Will. In that case I believe you need to know that nothing happened after I took you home”

“What? What do you mean nothing happened?”

“We kissed, we undressed each other but you were tired and intoxicated and we simply fell asleep. I admit, I cuddled you but that’s all I did”

Will’s mouth feels dry and he blinks.

“Have some water, Will”

Hannibal hands the man his glass.

“Thanks”

Will drinks the water and takes a deep breath.

“Don’t get me wrong but that’s a great relief. I mean, you gave me a damn good blowjob but knowing that was all makes me feel a bit less guilty”

Hannibal smirks.

“I still feel like shit, though. I fought with Matthew and the first thing I did then was cheat on him”

“Don’t be so harsh for yourself, Will. Everyone makes mistakes”

“A hell of a mistake I did”

They start eating.

“How did you meet Matthew, anyway?” Hannibal asks.

Will smiles at the memory.

“I was in a hospital for the criminally insane for a case. He worked, well works, there as an orderly. I visited a few times and we exchanges glances, then a few words. We hit it off immediately and we married after six months. It will be our first anniversary next week”

“I hope he wakes up by then” Hannibal says.

Will smiles and nods. They talk a bit more and finish the dinner. Then Hannibal asks for Will’s address and drives the man home.

Will thanks for the dinner and exits the car. He enters his flat and collapses on the bed. He needs a shower and an aspirin.


	5. Do you never give up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry the chapter is short :/  
> i actually changed the initial idea for the fic and i had the power cut off x__x

Will doesn’t appear in the hospital for a couple of days. He’s constantly tired. He keeps looking at the photos of the crime scenes and making notes. His brain gradually shuts up.

On Friday Will’s cell phone rings.

“Graham” Will says.

“Hello, Will”

“Hannibal? How did you…?”

“I wanted to tell you the news myself”

“Oh god, what happened?”

“Matthew has awoken. You can visit him when you have some time”

“Really?! Um… I’ll be there in an hour. Thanks for calling”

“No problem, Will”

Will goes to Jack and tells him about the call. Crawford is somewhat annoyed that Will needs to leave but feigns to be glad about the good news and lets Will go.

Graham drives to the hospital and keeps wondering. What if Matthew heard his confession and remembers it? In two days it will be one year since they married. And what did Will prepare for his husband? A betrayal.

Will parks the car and hesitates. He missed Matthew. But he’s insecure about seeing him now.

He exits the car and walks into the hospital. He enters the room Matthew has been lying in for the last two weeks and the first person he spots is Hannibal. The doctor is laughing along with Matthew and Will frowns. This is like a bad dream.

“Will!” Matthew tries to sit up and Hannibal helps him.

Graham steps closer to Matthew and smiles.

“I’ll leave you two alone” Hannibal says and offers a warm smile to Matt and then to Will.

“Willy, I’m so sorry” Matthew says when Hannibal leaves the room.

Will takes his husband’s hands in his own and kisses the man’s cheek.

“I should be the one apologising”

“Can we just forget about that evening?” Matthew asks.

Will smiles and nods. Yes, he wants to forget. He wants Matthew to forget.

“I missed you” Will confesses and kisses Matthew on the lips.

“Dr Lecter told me you visited me almost every day”

“Yeah. I tried to”

Matthew smirks and turns his head to look at the book on the nightstand.

“I heard you read it to me”

Will’s eyes widen. Did he…?

“I mean, dr Lecter said you read it to me. I’m glad I was sleeping then. I hate this book”

Will chuckles and strokes Matt’s cheek.

“They said they’d let me out tomorrow, if everything’s okay. I can’t wait. I need to stretch my legs”

“Maybe we could… walk through the corridor?”

Matthew’s eyes light up and he tries to stand. Will helps him, holds him by the waist and they make a few steps together. Then, Matthew grabs Will’s hand and tries to walk alone. Will notices Hannibal in the distance, smiling at him. It makes him uneasy. What if Hannibal tells Matthew what happened between them that night?

They quickly return to the room because Matthew is still weak. Will tells him about the latest case, tells him about the accident, tells him that he talked to Lecter a few times and tells him that he missed him very much.

“You’re probably the only one that cared if I ever wake up” Matt says “But you’re the only one that I want to care”

Will smiles and looks into Matthew’s eyes. It’s difficult. Will had always trouble making eye contact but he was gradually overcoming that. And now he feels it’s coming back.

He’s ashamed, afraid and guilty and he believes his husband will see through him if they sustain eye contact for more than a second. Will is glad to finally see his husband awake and moving, speaking. There was a moment when he feared he’d have to spend the rest of his life talking to the mannequin.

“I know what’s the date today” Matthew smirks “I know what’s coming”

The anniversary, right. Will was never a fan of special days and birthdays or anniversaries. He’d rather act like it’s another boring day. Less chance of being disappointed that way. You don’t expect – you’re not let down by anyone.

“Can’t we just-”

“I know what you’re going to say. You don’t want to celebrate. But I was going to take you somewhere anyway…”

“Oh. About that… I dealt with your car and… well, you don’t have a car anymore”

“There was nothing that could be done?”

“Nope. Completely crashed. You’re lucky you’re even alive. You ran into a truck. A big truck”

“Well I guess _you_ will have to take _me_ somewhere then” Matthew smirks and Will laughs.

“Do you never give up?”

“Never”

“I’m glad” Will strokes Matthew’s hand.

They talk some more and then Jack calls him and apologises but he says he needs him immediately.

“Another victim?” Matthew asks.

“There’s never a shortage of those. I have to go. I’ll come tomorrow. Hopefully to take you home”

“I’ll be waiting”

Will smiles and leans in to steal a kiss from his husband. It feels different. Will feels different. He’s afraid the lies are written all over his face. It corrupts the kiss, it steals the excitement and affection.

Graham leaves the room and sees Hannibal with a child. When Lecter spots him, he points at him to the child and they approach Will.

“Will, I want to introduce you to this fine young man, Christopher. Christopher, this is Will”

“Nice to meet you, sir”

“Nice to meet you, too”

Hannibal strokes the child’s hair and speaks.

“Go on, ask politely”

“Can I borrow your book? Christopher asks, looking at Will and then at his own feet.

“My book? Oh” Will takes the book out of his bag and hands it to the kid “Here you are. Did you like it”

“Yes. Dr Lecter read it to me”

Will looks at Hannibal who seems proud.

“Thank you, sir” Christopher grins and runs away with the book.

Will laughs at the scene.

“What have I done?”

“A good thing” Hannibal assures “You know, he’s eight and he still has trouble reading”

“Is it the kid from the orphanage?” Will asks.

“Yes. I’m very fond of him. There are plenty of children who have more things than he does yet there is something so radiant about him”

“I can relate to that”

“We you an orphan, Will?”

“No” Will rubs his eyes “My mom left me and my father when I was very young. My father did everything to make ends meet. We were poor. I didn’t have what other kids had so I made my own stuff. And, you know” Will points at his head “imagination helps”

“But isn’t it a tool that’s pointed on both ends? I cannot believe I’d bear the price you’re paying for your imagination”

“It’s fear. Fear is the price of imagination”

Hannibal nods and Will finds himself amazed by the doctor words. Lecter seems to understand him, to acknowledge Will’s every day struggle at his work.

“I have to go now. And make use of my...gift" Will says with a grimace.

"I’ll see you tomorrow?” Hannibal asks with a warm smile.

“Yes. I’ll come to pick up Matthew in the morning”

“He should be released around eleven if everything’s fine”

“I’ll come at eleven then”

“Goodbye, Will”


	6. I thought you didn't want children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have technical problems so i have no idea when i'll post the next chapter x__x but i'll try to do it soon

The next day Will appears in the hospital holding a bag with Matthew’s clothes. He enters the room and finds Matthew sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Matty?”

“Will! Finally. I had my check-up an hour ago. I’m free to go”

Will frowns. Hannibal said…

“I’m sorry. I must have misheard when to come. I brought you clothes. Go change and we’re leaving”

Matthew stands up and approaches Will. He takes the bag with clothes and kisses Will. Passionately.

Will used to melt under his husband’s touch but now he smiles faintly and pulls back, mumbling that it’s not appropriate.

“All the more reason to continue. But okay, I’ll show you how much I missed you at home” Matthew says with a wink and disappears to change.

Will shakes his head. He’s not in the mood for sex. And Matthew should probably still rest. After such a long time in bed unconscious his husband needs to pick energy to deal again with everyday life. He still caused a car accident and will have to take responsibility for that.

Matthew reappears in the room and smiles at Will.

“Ready? Will asks.

“Ready”

Matthew takes Will’s hand and they head to exit the hospital. Will spots Lecter on the corridor, smiling at them politely.

“Thank you, doctor” Matthew says and shakes Hannibal’s hand in gratitude.

“You are most welcome”

“Yes, thank you, doctor. For everything” Will adds and tries to flee the hospital as quickly as possible.

They come home and Will wakes them tea. Matthew sits on the couch and almost immediately notices the lack of his favourite chair. Will sees the grimace on his husband’s face and begins to explain.

“Its leg broke and it was taking up space so I threw it out”

“You know I liked this chair”

Will closes his eyes. They just came back from the hospital, they seemed to have forgiven each other everything but it’s never that easy, is it?

“I sat on it and its leg broke. There was nothing I could do about it so it had to go” Will says calmly.

Matthew sighs. He knows he made Will upset.

“I’m sorry. It’s okay. It was just a chair”

Matthew takes the cup with tea from Will and brushes his fingers against his husband’s. Will explains the situation with the police and tells him about everything that happened when Matthew was in the hospital.

Later Will showers while Matthew watches tv and tries to catch up with the news. They eat sandwiches with tuna and then brush their teeth. They settle in bed together.

Will missed his presence, anyone’s presence for that matter, and is happy about not having to sleep alone anymore. Matthew cuddles him, nuzzles his neck and kisses his hair. Will smiles and hums appreciatively but he doesn’t want more than that. Matthew receives the signs and stops himself before the heat breaks out. They fall asleep.

Or, more accurately, Matthew falls asleep. Will wonders how that’s even possible since Matthew has been doing nothing but sleeping for the last few weeks. Will closes his eyes but the sleep doesn’t come. He feels a warm hand on his chest and a breath on his neck and he shivers. He feels guilty again. He tried very hard to forget about his mistake but it just keeps coming back.

After twenty minutes Will hears light snoring behind him so he gently removes the hands from his chest and gets up. He goes to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water. If he keeps thinking about _that_ night he may even accidently confess to Matthew, be it in the heat of an argument or when the guilt finally overwhelms him. And what then?

Will this absurd feeling that he’ll confess in his sleep and he won’t be even aware of that.

He shakes off those thoughts and goes back to bed.

 

Will wakes to the sound of Matthew groaning. It’s fascinating that he just knows this is the way Matthew wakes. He knows every single detail of his husband’s daily routine. He knows what to expect and when. He knows Matthew’s voice and the way it changes with particular emotions. He knows every wrinkle and body language all too well. It’s comfortable like that.

There are few surprises in their relationship but Will decided he liked it. Now he frowns. Was he always this boring? Did he always wanted to lead such a predictable life? Where every decision is somehow made for him and he himself just keeps floating?

Warm hands interrupts his thoughts as Matthew embraces Will. He kisses Graham’s cheek and stands up.

“God, I’m hungry”

“Wait” Will says upon getting up from the bed.

Matthew turns to his husband and smirks.

“Put some clothes on. I'm taking you out” Will says.

Matthew grins and leans in to place a kiss on Will's cheek and then lips. It's their anniversary. One year since they got married. The first anniversary and Will already feels guilty and ashamed and full of lies. He already cheated on Matthew. They went through a lot; they survived many fights and there are probably even more to come. Will they survive the next ones?

Matthew picks a white shirt and light blue jeans and Will cannot help but see some kind of angel. And he supposes he's the demon in this relationship. This is difficult, Will thinks. How do people cheat and stay calm about it?

Will puts on a blue navy shirt and dark trousers. He picks up the keys and a wallet and they leave the flat. It's only nine in the morning. 

Will opens the passenger door for Matthew and then drives them to a nearby store. Matthew frowns but is excited at the awaiting surprises. Will picks some grapes, two bread rolls, a carton of orange juice and a box of ice cream. 

Matthew stays silent and only smiles at Will and kisses him from time to time. They drive out of the city. Will takes a turn to the right and the road takes them up a hill. Will parks the car on at the foot of the hill, gets out and takes all their stuff. He also picks a blanket he always keeps in his trunk.

They go up, Matthew's arm around Will's waist. On the top of the hill Will spreads the blanket on the grass and then their 'breakfast' on the blanket, while Matthew enjoys the view. He can see some of the highest buildings and the busy centre of the city somewhere in the distance, He turns to look at Will and closes his eyes. There is not a sound, nothing. He takes a seat on the blanket, next to Will, and takes one of the grapes.

"So this is your idea of spending our anniversary" Matthew concludes.

"I'm sorry it's not what you imagined or hoped for-"

"It's great" Matthew says and kisses Will.

They eat the grapes and drink some juice. It's calm, domestic. They're enjoying the laziness.

Will opens the box with the ice cream and Matthew smirks. He takes a spoon and shoves it into Will's mouth.

They laugh and Matthew leans closer to kiss Will on the lips. He can taste the ice cream. He can taste the sweetness in Will's mouth.

"I love you" Matthew whispers.

Will shivers at the words. He wants to say the same, wants to show Matthew he loves him, too. But the guilt makes him tremble. He smiles faintly and kisses Matthew passionately.

Matt leans over Will's body and they lie down on the blanket. Matthew kisses Will's neck and unzips his husband's trousers. Will trembles again. He grabs Matt's hand to stop his husband.

"Matthew" Will whispers.

"Something wrong?"

"Not here" Will explains and kisses Matthew on the lips. 

"Why not? There's no one here. And it's so peaceful" Matt looks around the hill "And I want you"

Will is about to respond to that when his phone buzzes. Thankfully.

"Will" Matthew says annoyed.

"I'm sorry, it's Jack"

He keeps the conversation short but still sees his husband's pout while devouring the ice cream.

"So? Is that is? The end of the romance?" Matthew asks and Will's eyes widen.

"No. He just wanted to tell me they found the killer"

Matthew smiles. 

"That's good. I'm sorry, WIll. I know you do a lot of good when you chase them. I just don't want to be robbed of you for their sake" Matthew says and supports his head on Will's shoulder. 

Will closes his eyes. It should be a blissful moment.

"You know... you'll have to go to the police. Explain everything. Maybe pay a fine"

"Do you want me to do this _now_?"

"No. No, I'm just... reminding you"

"Good"

They finish their breakfast and go back to the car. Will drives them home and the world hasn't changed a bit. It's like they returned from limbo where the time stops. 

"Okay, what else do you want to do today?" Will asks when they enter the apartment.

"Hmmm..." Matthew approaches Will and kisses his neck "I was thinking about a movie and a pizza and some cuddling. I don't really need more"

Will smiles and takes out his phone.

"I'll order and you look for a movie. But please don't make it a cheesy rom com"

"You were saying? You want to watch a cheesy rom com? Got it" Matthew teases and Will shakes his head.

They sit on the couch, Matthew's head on Will's shoulder, their hands brushing against each other. Will smells his husband's hair and smiles. It is comforting finally having Matthew home, being able to sense his presence.

The pizza arrives moment after that and they eat and watch an action movie. Matthew used to ask Will if he's not bored with this kind of films after a long day in the field but for Will it's not exactly like this. It never looks like this.

Later they lie on the couch, Matthew on top of Will, back pressed to chest. Will strokes his husband's hair and arms. He massages his legs. Soon, Matthew will have to return to work and they will get back to their reality from before the accident. 

In the complete bliss of the moment, Will forgets himself and asks.

"Will we ever have children?"

"What?" Matthew chuckles but then frowns "Are you serious?"

"Yes"

"I thought you didn't want children" Matthew rises and sits on the couch.

"I didn't"

"So why do you ask if we'll ever have any?"

"Maybe I changed my mind..."

Will thinks about the kid from the orphanage. He liked the book. He smiled beautifully. Hannbal seemed so relaxed with him. Hannibal...

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't have kids" Matthew says.

"Yes, but-"

"No, Will. We don't have time for children. I have a stable job and you... you know how your work looks like. You go whenever they call you, no excuses"

"We could work something out. Maybe you could-"

"Quit my job? Will, you're not being rational at the moment. We're not having this conversation right now"

"I'm not rational?" Will feels the words burn his mouth, he's angry and upset; he fears Matthew means he's unstable.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"No. No, you're right. I didn't want kids. I changed my mind and wanted to talk about it. I can see why I'm not being rational"

Will stands up, takes his wallet and car keys.

"Will, wait! That's not what I meant"

Matthew hurries to stop his husband but Will puts on a jacket and leaves. He exits the building and gets into the car. He takes out his phone and sees a piece of paper fall our of the pocket. A business card. From the hospital. Dr Hannibal Lecter. 

Will turns the card and sees a handwritten note at the back of it. 

 _If you need medical advice or just want to talk_ and a phone number.

Well this couldn't come any more in handy.

But Will shouldn't call the one person that caused this mess, should he? He hesitates. He should call Bev. He should...

Before he thinks of a thousand reasons why he shouldn't call Hannibal, he already dials his number.

"Lecter. Who am I speaking with?"

"Hi... It's Will. Graham"

"Hello, Will" there is apparent lightness and joy in the surgeon's voice "How can I help you?"

"I noticed your card just now and I... I actually need to talk to someone" _maybe not you but it's already too late_.

"Do you want to come to my place? I'm ending the shift in fifteen minutes"

"Should I pick you up?"

"If that's not a problem"

"I'll be there in ten minutes"


	7. It's our anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's short; i didn't check it again for mistakes so it'll probably need improvement but i still have technical problems x__x i'll try to post again soon, even if short :/

Will frowns when he parks his car by the hospital. He shouln't be doing this. He should be at home with his husband. He should, oh lord, do so many other things than think about Hannibal right now. 

Lecter appears before Will can withdraw and drove away. The doctor gets in the car with a charming smile.

"Hello, Will. I hope you didn't wait too long?"

"No. No I barely got here"

"So shall we go to my flat or would you prefer more neutral ground?"

Huh. Will is given a choice, a perfect chance to make it less guilty.

"Let's go to your place"

He's damned. He's lost. 

They drive in silence, Hannibal still offering a smile and actually the doctor seems fairly smug about the fact that Will knows the address. They ascend the stairs, Will doubting his decision with every step. 

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" Hannibal asks upon entering the flat.

"Um, something to drink, yes, but something..."

"Stronger?" Hannibal chuckles.

"Yeah"

Lecter points at the couch and Will takes a seat while Hannibal brings two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. He pours them both a drink and sits next to Will. 

"How is Matthew?" Hannibal asks.

Will grimaces and then sighs. 

"I'd rather not talk about him"

Lecter nods. Will is here because he is mad at his husband. He's here because he believed he could talk about his problems. Maybe Hannibal would see the situation from a different angle and help Will think more rationally. But now he's here, he cannot focus. He doesn't want to think. He does too much of that at work. He wants to unwind.

Will gulps his drink and asks for another.

"Are you sure? You're driving. Unless you want to take the couch"

Will chuckles.

"Already forgot we slept together?"

"I would not wish to presume that you'd be willing to do that again"

"Would you really not mind if I stayed for the night?"

"Absolutely. But wouldn't Matthew be worried?"

Will sighs and closes his eyes in silent guilt and shame. He really shouldn't be here. 

"Do you want me to go?"

"No. I invited you here and you can stay as long as you wish" Hannibal says with a smile and pours Will another drink.

"I know I'm doing something bad, I'm aware of that. But that doesn't change tha fact that I want to be here. I don't want to go home. Not tonight"

Hannibal nods and sips on his own drink.

"We fought. Again" Will chuckles.

There have been so many arguments between them, so many Will has fled to avoid. But something inside him tells him this one is going to be the toughest. If he tells Matthew about his one night stand, well, it's probably the end of their relationship. If he keeps lying, guilt may eat him alive.

"I don't know. We never wanted kids but seeing the boy in the hospital...made me feel...parental?"

"It's normal you felt connection and a need"

"Yeah. Matthew is probably right... We don't have time for kids"

"Time can be made if one wishes something strongly" Hannibal comments.

Will thinks about it for a moment, then asks.

"What about you? Do you have any kids?"

"No. I never met a person to settle with and have a child with and single parenting would be demanding and difficult for a surgeon. I would rather divide the responsibilities between me and...the other person"

"Right? It's not like I want to have a child but I won't make any sacrifices. I just want him to make a few as well"

"It's reasonable"

Will smiles. After Matthew telling him he's not being rational, Hannibal's words are soothing and reassuring. And warm. Warm like a hand on his thigh.

Will frowns and looks at Hannibal, who smiles and quickly withdraws his hand to stand up.

"I'll bring you a blanket and a pillow"

Before Will can stop himself, he grabs the doctor's hand.

"Are you really going to make me sleep on the couch?"

Hannibal looks at him as if he was making the toughest decision in his life. He stares into Will's eyes, examines him thoroughly, and smiles.

"All right. You can sleep in bed. With me. I'll bring you a pair of pyjamas, then"

Will doesn't want to argue about that. He pours himself another drink, and while Hannibal is gone, he checks his phone. Two missed calls from Matthew. Should he go back home? He's mad. He's angry. He should wait.

Hannibal enters the living room and places a pair of pyjamas on the arm of the couch.

"When you're ready, you can take a shower and change"

"Thank you. What about you? When do you go to sleep? I don't want to impose on your daily routine if you have one"

"I don't. I go to bed when I'm tired"

Will chuckles.

"That's convenient"

Hannibal turns on the tv and for a moment they stop talking. Will looks at his empty glass and wonders if he should have another drink. He feels pressure in his bladder and stands up to look for a toilet. That's when he _knows_ he shouldn't have anymore alcohol. His head spins and he starts laughing. More at his own hopelessness than from intoxication.

"Are you all right?" Hannibal asks.

"Yeah. I've been drunk before"

Will takes the pair of pyjamas and goes to the bathroom. He takes a piss and then takes a shower. When he turns off the water, he hears the doctor's voice from behind the door.

"You can use the green towel. I haven't used it, I put it there just today"

"Got it"

Will dries himself and puts on the pyjamas. The pants hang loosely around his hips and the top is a little too big as well but the fabric is so soft, so comfortable, Will wants to lie down and roll around in the clothing.

He exits the bathroom and goes to sit on the couch again. When Hannibal sees him, he grins and it makes Will roll his eyes.

"I know, I look like a teenager in my father's clothes" Will comments.

Hannibal laughs out loud and then sighs, contemplating if it really feels like a fatherly thing to do - borrow pyjamas, let a man stay for the night...

"I mean... because the pyjamas are a bit too loose, I didn't mean..." 

"It's okay, Will. I understand what you mean" Hannibal says and Will smiles faintly.

Someone understands him? Really? That would be new. Everyone seems to be using him and not give a damn about his feelings.

It's Hannibal's turn to take a shower and Will is left alone on the couch, watching the news. He changes channels and ends up with a comedy he and Matthew once watched. He feels guilty again. Will looks at the coffee table where the bottle of whiskey and two glasses remain untouched for the moment and despite knowing it's wrong, Will pours himself another drink. 

When Hannibal returns, Will lies down on the couch, taking up the whole space to sit, but he's not asleep.

Lecter approaches Will, lifts the man's ankles and sits with Will's feet in his lap. It's peaceful. Will doesn't make a sound, nor does he rise to make more room for his host. Maybe it's rude, but Hannibal doesn't tell him off so he stays as he is.

They watch the comedy for a few minutes, Hannibal laughing at a couple of funny scenes. Will frowns at the surgeon. He's relaxed, expressing his amusement openly and for a split second Will feels like that's his real home. For the same second he forgets about Matthew, about his demanding job and boss and he imagines _this_ is the reality he lives in.

Will feels a warm skillful hand massaging his bare feet and he closes his eyes. It's blissful. But he shouldn't be here. They shouldn't be doing this.

Will frowns at Hannibal and when the doctor notices it, he smiles apologetically, not stopping his caress even for a second.

"Forgive me, I craved to do this and I don't have anyone to do this to, so you ended up as my victim"

A victim. Yes, Will supposes that's the right term. Given that Will was offered a blowjob, a dinner, a few meaningful conversations and an acknowledgement and he feels completely ashamed and guilty, Will fell a victim of this charming man.

Hannibal keeps massaging Will's feet, sustaining eye contact and Will feels like he's given another blowjob. It's obscene. He surrenders to the gentle swipes of fingers and the hard presses. He bites his lip to refrain from moaning. Will looks again at the table and the half-empty bottle seems to be the proof of his guilt.

Hannibal squeezes Will's ankle and Will arches his back. His breath is hot and he is about to say 'stop' but he never does. He breathes out, curses and rises to grasp Hannibal's pyjama top and kiss the man passionately. 

Will keeps the doctor close while they exchange saliva. At first Hannibal doesn't move but after a moment of Will's desperate groping, the doctor pushes Will back to lie down on the couch. He kisses Will's forehead, eyelids, cheeks and chin and then he stops. 

"You've had too much to drink, Will"

"I've been feeling like shit for something we didn't even do. So why not do this for real?" Will asks while trying to push down Hannibal's pants.

"No, no, no. I've done this mistake once, I'm not repeating it. You're under influence and I'm not going to take advantage of you in this state"

"Not to mention I'm married" Will smirks.

Hannibal blinks and looks at Will's lips. He's tempted to taste them and Will seems to be wanting that, too, but both of them are still sober enough to know it's not the best idea.

"And it's our anniversary" Will adds, looking for Hannibal's reaction.

The doctor sighs, contemplates something and rises from the couch. 

"I'm going to bed" Hannibal announces and disappears. 

Will watches the man go and sighs. How is it that he feels even more guilty than before, still not being guilty of cheating? He stays on the couch, lying there and looking blankly at the tv. 

Hannibal goes to bed; he lies down and covers himself. He closes his eyes and believes Will is going to join him soon. But after a couple of minutes Hannibal wonders if Will feels offended and decided to sleep on the couch after all.

The doctor stands up and goes to check on Will. The man is sleeping on the sofa with the tv still on.

Hannibal turns off the tv and approaches Will. He doesn't want to wake the man but he wants to take him to the bed. He strokes Will's face and Will murmurs. 

"Will, come to bed" Hannibal says quietly.

"Nnnnn..."

"You'll be more comfortable. Come"

"Uhhhh"

Will opens his heavy eyes and sees Hannibal smiling at him. He rises from the couch and follows Hannibal to bed. They lie in a fair distance from each other and fall asleep. 


	8. Where the hell were you last night?

Will wakes up in an empty bed. Not his own bed. In a familiar bedroom he once woke up in. Not his own bedroom. Will looks around and stretches his arms. He feels a soft fabric caressing his body. Not his own pyjamas. Something about this unimaginably odd situation makes him smile. 

He gets up from the bed and goes to the kitchen where he sees Hannibal drink his coffee and read a newspaper.

"Good morning" Will says and the doctor finally notices him.

"Good morning, Will. How did you sleep?"

"Fine" Will rubs his eyes "Can I get an aspirin?"

"Of course" Hannibal puts down the paper and stands up to give Will a cup of tea and a pill "Here you are"

"Thanks"

Will swallows the pill and takes a seat opposite Hannibal.

"I'm going to work in about twenty minutes. Do you want to stay here or...? the doctor asks while looking at his watch.

"Oh! No, no. I'm leaving immediately. Thank you for everything" Will stands up and heads to the door.

He knows he probably shouldn't have come here. And he just spent the night, offering nothing in return. 

"I enjoy your company, Will. If you even need a person to talk or a place to crash, just give me a call" Hannibal says watching Will leave.

Will smiles, nods and disappears. He goes home.

He opens the door and sees Matthew all dressed up sitting on the couch with a phone in his hand.

"Where the hell were you?" Will's husband asks angrily "And don't tell me that at a friend's because I called Bev and she said she didn't see you for the last few days"

"You called Bev?"

"I was worried about you. You can't just keep running away everytime we have an argument. Last time you did that, I ended up in a hospital"

"So you're saying it was _my_ fault?!"

"No, I didn't mean... You know what I meant"

Will laughs histerically.

"We can't have a normal conversation. We can lie on the grass and make out or start a fight. There is no in between"

"But I want to make it work, Will. I want to talk it out. I know I sometimes say something stupid but you can't just run through the door everytime you don't agree with me"

"I know. I know it's wrong. I guess I'm just used to that"

"Look, I was just going to the police. I need to talk to them about my accident and everything. We'll talk when I get back, okay?"

"Sure"

Matthew heads to the door but suddenly remember something they haven't cleared up.

"Um, so where were you last night?"

"At a hotel. Outside of the city. I needed some distance"

Matthew nods and leaves the flat.

Will goes to their bedroom and finds a change of clothes for himself. He takes a shower to feel a bit more fresh and then wonders. No call from Jack, no call from anybody. Will frowns and starts looking for his cell phone. After fifteen minutes of checking twice everywhere Will thinks of the worst. He must have left it at Hannibal’s. Good god. What if Matthew calls him? To let him know how it went at the police station. What if Jack called him a thousand times? He’s screwed.

Will takes his car keys and decides to go to the hospital. He asks in the reception where is dr Lecter and a woman tells him he’s operating at the moment. God knows how long it will take. Will sits down resigned.

From the day he met Hannibal it’s been a constant fear and guilt and hell if Will isn’t tired of that. It’s like there’s been a straight line and at one point it curved and is curving ever since, not knowing how to get back to its previous course.

Will thinks he’ll have to end this… shall he say _affair_? Is it even an affair? Yes, Will received a blowjob and damn if that wasn’t something he will never forget. Yes, he saw Hannibal after that. Yes, he even kissed the man and wanted more than that. How could Hannibal be so restrained and composed? He didn’t reject Will, did he? It was only about the case of consent, wasn’t it? Lecter is simply a charming and caring man who believes having sex while intoxicated isn’t the right thing to do.

Will frowns at his own train of thought. So what, now he wants to keep the affair going? He still wants to bang the doctor?

Will sees the door to the operating room open and spots Hannibal among the surgeons. The doctor approaches him with a smile.

“Will! Already miss me?” Hannibal offers a charming smile and Will needs to clear his throat to stay calm.

“Um, I seem to have lost my phone. Have you by any chance found it?”

“Oh. No, I haven’t seen it. Maybe it’s still somewhere in my apartment”

“Maybe… Would you… give me your keys so I could go and look for it?”

He’s bold, he knows that. But he’s desperate. Hannibal chuckles.

“You need it this much, huh?”

“Well, I have a very demanding job, you’re aware of that”

“Naturally. But let me tell you this – I’ll talk to a colleague and I’ll go to look for your phone with you. Would that be okay?”

Will’s eyes widen at the offer. It’s kind. Will hopes it’s all it is. Hannibal can’t possibly be afraid that Will would steal something.

“I don’t want to cause so much trouble. If you don’t want to give me the keys I can wait. I’ll just-”

“That’s absolutely not a problem, Will. Wait here a moment, will you?”

Will nods and Hannibal disappears in the staff room. He approaches Will after a few minutes, still in his white clothing. Will smirks at that. He drives them to Hannibal’s apartment.

Will starts looking on the couch, under it, all over the living room, while Hannibal covers the kitchen. Will is certain it can’t be in the kitchen because he was there for like, what, two minutes?

Will goes to the bathroom but on his way there he bumps into the doctor.

“Sorry” he mumbles into the space between them.

Hannibal offers one of those charming smiles and invites Will to go first.

“Maybe it’s not in the apartment” the doctor comments.

Will laughs out loud and looks in the mirror over the basin.

“Call me” he says turning to Hannibal.

It takes the doctor a moment to realise how stupid indeed they both are. He’s about to take out his phone when he realises again the plan is a failure. He left his phone in his coat, back at the hospital. He took only his keys.

Will understands Hannibal’s face expressions and laughs again.

“Back to the initial plan” Will says and looks even in the shower.

Hannibal disappears into the bedroom and then goes back to the living room where he sees Will again.

“This is hopeless” Will says aloud and sighs.

He sits on the couch and Hannibal sits next to him. 

“I’m sorry. Maybe you lost it someplace else”

“I need to _go_ to Quantico, then. Talk to my boss in person”

“But you don’t want to” it’s not a question; it’s a statement; they both know it’s true.

“No” a pause, and then Will looks at Hannibal apologetically “I’m sorry. I better leave. I caused you enough trouble”

“Will”

Hannibal grasps Will’s sleeve before the man can stand up from the couch. Will frowns and then looks at Hannibal, full of hope and confusion.

“Last night-”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, too. You were right. I was drunk and… thanks for not letting me make another mistake”

Hannibal nods but leans closer to Will.

“So you don’t want this” again, more a statement than a question.

Will swallows and looks at Hannibal’s lips, coming closer to his with every second.

“I…I do…I…”

The moment Hannibal’s lips are about to seal the deal, a phone rings somewhere near them. Will’s phone.

Will jumps away from the kiss, partly grateful, partly regretting as hell, and goes to look for the phone. The noise comes from a drawer. Will hesitates before he pulls out the drawer and sees his phone there. How did it get there? Did he put it here? When he was drunk and unaware of his actions. Why would he do that?

Will sees Bev’s name on the screen. He sighs.

“I’ll go. I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologising, Will”

Will smiles faintly.

“I’ll drive you back to the hospital”

“Aren’t you going to pick up?” Hannibal asks, looking at the phone in Will’s hand, still ringing.

“It’s just my friend and I’m pretty sure what she’s calling about”

Will drops Hannibal off at the hospital and then calls Bev.

“Will, what is happening? Matthew called me last night and asked me if you were with me. What’s going on?”

“Sorry about that. I didn’t think he’d actually call you”

“Where were you? What’s happening with you two?”

“You know… I think I’m going to need to talk to you but… I promised I’d talk to Matthew first. My life’s a mess at the moment”

“Is it about the guy you slept with?”

“Hah, you see that’s the deal – I haven’t slept with him”

“What? But you said-”

“I know. I thought I have. And then he told me that nothing happened. And last night… Bev, I really want to meet you and talk. Maybe you could see me at six? Let’s go to that café”

“Okay”

He calls Matthew and finds out the man had to pay a fine for causing the accident. Thankfully, no one got hurt so there were no other consequences.

Will comes back home and waits for Matthew. He plans a strategy. Should he tell him about Hannibal? Should he act all apologetic and try to work things out?

He’s in the middle of contemplation when the door opens and Matthew appears. It’s too late now. Will loses all his grip on the situation and forgets everything he wanted to say.


	9. Don't call me

Normally, Matthew would smile at Will, offer a reassurance. Now, he sits on the couch, next to Will and clenches his fists. Will knows this gesture. It’s weakness, helplessness.

“I know I tend to say stupid things, things that I don’t really mean but they come out the wrong way. I don’t blame you for my accident, it was entirely my fault. I wanted to call you and… well… You know me, Will”

Will smiles faintly. He does know Matthew. Somehow during this whole time he learnt all about him. And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe he needs change. There’s nothing to explore here.

They’ve had their fun and Will wonders if he ever felt the _need_ for Matthew; craving and constant dissatisfaction with what he got, and so that he needed more and more still.

No. There was no such feeling. They got on well and laughed and kissed and talked. But Will cannot think of a single second when he wanted to throw everything and just fall into Matthew’s arms and make something stupid, run away from everything.

And he realises he has this urge now. He’s ready to risk it all.

“I know I shouldn’t be running away from the problems. Maybe it’s just that there’s been too many of them lately. And I really got used to that. You know, I just leave, come back the next day and hope everything is well again, everything solved on its own”

“That’s not the way it works”

“I know”

Matthew turns to face Will and extends his hand to stroke Will’s cheek. Will leans into the touch and feels the roughness of his husband’s fingertips.

“So should we give each other another chance?” Matthew asks.

Should they?

“Sure”

It’s funny how Will initiates things when he’s the last person to be expected to do so. He kisses Matthew. It starts slowly and gently. Will blinks and the next second he sees Hannibal instead of Matthew. The kiss becomes more passionate, ferocious even. The air is heavy around them and Will finds it difficult to breathe. He smiles at the thought of dying of lack of the oxygen caused by kissing someone so firmly.

He closes his eyes and touches Matthew’s face. He feels smooth skin and sharp cheekbones and knows he’s working on an image of Hannibal. It’s not Matthew anymore.

After a moment of pleased noises Will pulls away and laughs openly. Matthew doesn’t understand what’s happening but joins the laughter.

“No in between” Will says breathlessly.

A ringtone. Will shakes his head. His phone chose the best day and the best moments to interrupt. He looks at the screen and sees a number he doesn’t know. He looks at Matthew, who smiles and nods, giving him a silent permission to answer the phone.

Will hits the green button and Matthew goes to the kitchen to give the man some privacy.

“Hello, Will”

Oh god. Not now. Not him.

“Um, hi” Will tries to keep his voice down.

“Forgive me. I’m interrupting something, aren’t I? May I call you later, then?”

“Um…yeah, sure. I mean…” Will wants to tell the man to never call him again, he wants to end it but then again why should he? “I’ll call you when it’s convenient for me, all right?”

“Of course”

Will feels the rush of adrenaline. _He_ will call Hannibal. _He_ will set the date. He _can_ make it all work.

Will goes to the kitchen where Matthew already started preparing dinner.

“Who was that?”

“Jack” Will feigns annoyance “Some details about the case”

Matthew nods and they continue preparing the dinner together.

“I called my boss and they expect me to come back on Monday”

“Good. We should probably just get back to our routine and everything will be fine” Will smiles.

They discuss going to the cinema but Will says he’s already busy in the evening. He wants to see Bev. Huh, this time when Matthew calls her, she’ll be his alibi.

They eat dinner and agree to go to the cinema the next day. Unless of course Jack doesn’t call and steal Will away.

Before six Will kisses Matthew and leaves the flat. He goes to the café he met in with Bev once. She’s already there, waiting for him.

“How have you been, Will? What’s going on with all those secrets?”

Will rubs his neck and smiles.

“We fought. Again. And I developed a tendency to flee everytime we fight”

“And Matthew thought you went to my place. Got it”

“Yeah. Sorry about that”

“But you didn’t. Where _did_ you go?” Bev smirks and Will knows what explanation she’s expecting.

“To Hannibal. I mean, the guy who…”

“Who you supposedly fucked”

“Yeah, that. He said we got naked but were too tired to do anything else” Will laughs again.

“So you didn’t cheat. That’s good news”

“Well… Somehow I still feel guilty. And…” Will rubs his cheek, hesitates.

“Oh god, Will. You’re thinking about doing it, aren’t you? You want to cheat”

“I think a fling might do me some good. I was calm with Matthew, relaxed and it was too easy”

“And you need a little danger. This work has a bad influence on you”

“What can I say? I’m an addict. A stupid, reckless fucking addict”

“But do you want to divorce Matthew?”

Huh, Will didn’t think about it. Does he?

“I’m comfortable with him”

“Will, it’s not who you really are. You’re honest. You won’t survive in this affair for long”

“So should I break it off with Matthew?”

“For Hannibal or for yourself?”

Will doesn’t know. But he knows what Bev means. He can have an affair and it may end ugly with a nasty divorce, but it may last very briefly and he would regret breaking off with Matthew then.

“I’m not making this decision right now. I don’t want it to be reckless”

“Good”

They keep talking about the last case and Matthew’s health and then they split. Will looks at his watch. He’ll go for it. Tonight.

Will drives to Hannibal’s flat. He knocks. Lecter opens the door, shirtless. He seems to be in the middle of making himself comfortable and he can’t hide the surprise on his face. But he smiles, nevertheless.

Will steps inside and waits. He looks at Hannibal, is about to ask why he called earlier, but it doesn’t matter now. He approaches the doctor and kisses him. No gentleness about the gesture, no mercy in it. Will wants it all. He wants to consume and be consumed.

“We have half an hour at best” Will says upon Hannibal’s lips.

Lecter groans and unzips Will’s pants. They don’t need to be entirely naked. Hannibal reaches into Will’s underwear and touches Will’s cock. He strokes it gently, coaxes it to the full hardness. He takes his hands back and looks into Will’s eyes.

“Anal or oral?” Hannibal asks, simple as that.

“I, uh… put your mouth on me”

Hannibal nods and manoeuvres Will to sit on the couch. He kneels in front of the man and yanks Will’s pants off him, then boxers, and kisses Will’s thigh. He bites. Gently. Will arches his back and moans. He’s hard now, entirely delicious.

Hannibal teases him with a slow lick, from the base to the tip. There, he kisses the head. He repeats the action.

“Half an hour, huh?” Hannibal smirks and starts sucking.

Will is already aware Hannibal is good at that. He wants to forget the consequences and see where this will take him. They may keep it clean and quiet or it may be just this one time.

Hannibal swirls his tongue, he’s desperate in his need. Will looks at the doctor and wonders. How many other men received a treatment like that? Does Hannibal enjoys temporary affairs?

A particularly pleasant lick makes Will stop thinking completely and hold his breath. How does the man do this?

Hannibal moves his hand from Will’s thigh higher to pull up the man’s shirt a little. He craves flesh. Will shivers and feels the end is near. He tries to hold back, control his breathing; he closes his eyes tightly for a second. But there is no escape from this now. Hannibal licks and sucks the head, he offers one gentle kiss from time to time. The doctor moves his head ferociously now, keeps the pace cruel, and when Will entangles his hand in the man’s soft hair, he finally gives in.

Will comes with a gentle cry, a noise indicating it’s finished. He breathes heavily and watches Hannibal swallow him whole like he was water in the desert. Hannibal is a mess of a man: his lips and chin covered with spit and some of Will’s release, hair slightly mussed by Will’s grip. But he’s happy. He looks like a child who got the toy he always wanted. His smile is beautiful and contagious and Will cannot help but laugh softly.

Hannibal stands up from his knees and kisses Will on the cheek. It’s such an innocent gesture that Will starts doubting any previous activities. Lecter goes to the bathroom to wash his face. He reappears with a towel rubbing his face.

Will has already tucked himself carefully in the trousers and they look at each other. Hannibal sits next to Will.

“I don’t do this often” Hannibal starts and Will isn’t sure what the man means “I don’t fuck with strangers or give blowjobs to married men”

Will frowns. Why has this happened, then?

“And I’ve never cheated” Will states.

“Tell me, Will. Are you going to go back to your husband and touch him now?”

Will wants to be mad. Why does Lecter fucking care? But he honestly don’t know what he’s going to do.

“What if I did?”

“I’m not judging you. I’m just wondering if us doing something we never have means that I can count on you coming back some day or do I never get to see you again after you’ve crossed the threshold”

Will’s eyes widen a bit. Hannibal counts on something more. He wants to keep this going.

“Don’t call me” Will says and quickly continues seeing Hannibal nod in resignation “Text me. If you want”

Hannibal smiles faintly and nods again.


	10. Is this goodbye?

That evening marks a proper starting point of the affair. Ironically, after that, Will stops worrying so much.

He smiles more often, is polite and gentle with Matthew and their relationship seems to be fixed. They go to the cinema sometimes, spend lazy Sunday mornings in bed and make plans for Thanksgiving.

Will juggles work for the FBI with pleasing his husband and being pleased by Hannibal.

He meets with the doctor after work or before work; once when Lecter had a break and Will a day off they went for lunch.

It’s not _only_ sex. Sometimes they meet to talk and share a laugh over something. Hannibal has a lot of amazing stories from the ER and Will tells him about the cases, leaving the details vague because they’re classified.

When they do meet for sex, it’s mostly Hannibal giving Will a blowjob or the other way around. They try to keep it fast and fairly clean. It’s not that Will is afraid of going all the way or picking something up from Hannibal; it’s mostly the matter of lack of time or no real need to engage in penetrative sex. There’s enough passion between them even without this one element.

It’s like they’re friends with benefits, really.

One night Will is already on the stairs to his and Matthew’s apartment, almost walking into the flat when his phone buzzes indicating a new text message. Hannibal.

‘There’s something I want to talk about and I’d rather do it face to face. When can you meet me?’

Huh. Will is pretty tired. And he told Matthew he’d be home soon. And he’s almost in the apartment.

“Fuck” Will sighs and goes down to his car again.

He texts Hannibal he’d be there in ten minutes and when the doctor opens the door for him, Will can see the man is not relaxed at all.

“What is it?” Will says upon sitting on the couch.

There are two glasses and a bottle of whiskey on the table, one glass has been already used.

“Do you want a drink?” Hannibal asks.

“Can’t. I’m driving. And…” Will tilts his head indicating another reason and they’re both know what it is.

“Matthew” Lecter nods in acknowledgement.

“So what’s up? What’s so important?”

“A friend of mine asked me to go with him to the theatre” Hannibal explains.

Will frowns. That’s not such an imp- Oh.

“You mean he’s hitting on you? This is supposed to be a date?”

“Yes, I believe so”

Okay. Will thinks of many possibilities why Hannibal tells him that.

“Do you want to go?”

“I like theatre. I told you that even on the first night I met you”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it”

Hannibal sighs and nods.

“But let me ask you again, do you want to go _with him_?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe it got to a point where I have to think about the future…”

Will pours himself that drink he declined. He looks at the glass. He shouldn’t be drinking, he’s aware.

It’s a break up. One way or another. Either Hannibal chooses the friend or Will chooses Hannibal, there will be a break up.

“Is this goodbye?” Will asks.

“I assumed it depended on you. On your decision”

“There is no future with me” Will says quietly.

“Believe me, I imagined it many times. There is”

Will chokes on air. Hannibal imagined their future together? Knowing Will is married.

“You… don’t expect me to-”

“I didn’t want this to be the cliché story where I am the other woman. I don’t want to force you to anything or put you in the position to choose either me or Matthew”

“But you are” Will says.

“Do you want me to make the decision for you?”

No. Will wants to be the one in control. He wants to have the last word in this.

“You haven’t accepted the invitation just yet, I presume?”

“No. I told him I’d give him the answer tomorrow”

“You’re not giving me much time”

“The decision doesn’t require calculations. It’s probably somewhere in your head already”

Will puts the glass down and stands up. He steps closer to Hannibal and looks at the man’s face. They’re both tired and somewhat sad. Will closes his eyes and closes the space between them with a kiss.

Will’s phone starts ringing and Will feels Hannibal is about to pull away but Will embraces him and holds him close. They continue the kiss and Will knows Hannibal is right. The shadow of his answer has already formed in his brain. But he’s afraid to utter it. He doesn’t want an ending just yet.

He breaks the kiss and pulls back.

He drives back home. The easiness disappeared from his face and Matthew immediately notices something’s wrong. They eat dinner and then Will takes a shower. When he enters the living room, Matthew is sitting on the couch.

“Something wrong?” Will asks; he’s had enough difficult conversations for one day, one at work, one at Hannibal’s.

“Had a long day?” Matthew asks in return; he seems genuinely worried.

“Yeah”

Will sits next to his husband. Matthew turns to face Will and smiles.

“Come”

Will frowns while Matthew stands up and grabs his hand. They go to the bedroom and Matthew pats the bed for Will to lie down. He does. Matthew sits next to Will’s waist and starts massaging Will’s back. He applies pressure on his husband’s shoulders, then the spine.

Despite Matthew’s caring ministrations Will stays tense.

“Want to talk?”

“Not really, no. Tonight I just want to go sleep”

“Okay”

Matthew moves and Will sits on the bed next to his husband. Matthew kisses him, full on the mouth and frowns.

“You’ve been drinking?”

Now Will frowns. Oh. Of course. He forgot Hannibal was drinking and then they kissed. Some of that taste must have stayed on his tongue.

“Um. No. I mean… I just had a taste of some whiskey. Price bragged about how good it was so I needed to check to see if he was right”

“And was he?”

“Well… not the best I’ve ever had but good”

Will is shocked at his own ability to lie so smoothly but doesn’t want to think about it any longer. They go to sleep.

In the morning Matthew makes them breakfast and has to leave early. Will lies on the couch and turns on his laptop. He searches for some information for the case but is easily distracted by his own thoughts.

Should he go through with his plan? He tries to make a list of advantages of both of his relationships, if you could call what he has with Hannibal one.

The doctor could have not told him about the friend. He could have simply gone and seen where the night would take him. He could have cheated. Like Will has been doing for some time now. Lecter didn’t.

Will takes his phone and calls Hannibal. The doctor doesn’t answer. He’s probably busy operating on someone.

Will drives to Quantico. He stays there for a few hours, talking to his boss and  Beverly. He tries calling Hannibal a few more times. Nothing. Did Hannibal give up on him before he got the chance to let the doctor know what he decided? He asked if Will wanted him to make the decision for him but…

Will’s phone rings and Will sees the name of the man he was longing to hear.

“I was in the operating room. A very serious case”

“It’s okay” a pause “ Look, I’m calling because… Could we meet tonight?”

“Certainly. I’ll be back home at six. I’ll make dinner”

“Um. All right. See you at seven, then?”

“Sure”

Will wonders. Hannibal was supposed to give an answer to his friend today. Did he put it off? Did he give one?

A few minutes before seven Will parks his car near Hannibal’s flat and calls Matthew. He says he may stay longer at work, if not go to a hotel or sleep somewhere in the headquarters.

Will knocks at the door and Hannibal greets him with a charming smile.

“Good evening, Will”

“Hi”

They sit down and Hannibal serves them dinner. They eat and talk about Will’s last case and the problems he has figuring out the killer. What does he want? And it’s not recognition which is strange and makes things complicated.

After thirty minutes Will sighs and knows they will have to _talk_ eventually.

“Today I was making some accounting of what’s important and what I can live without. And I tried to come up with the right conclusions”

“Which are…?”

“You imagined our future together” Hannibal nods “Tell me”

The doctor smiles and puts the dirty dishes into the sink.

“We never push each other to do the things we don’t like. I like cooking so that could be signed to me. Unless I get home extremely late. And you said once you liked fixing things. So we can manage together. I don’t mind being a house wife. I’d only wish for you to appreciate that”

Will nods. That’s a nice idea.

“I’ve always wanted to buy a house” Will says “Somewhere near the city but in a fair distance from all the noise”

“We can think about it. I have some savings”

“I do, too”

“And I’m not averse to adopting a child in the future. Maybe even more than one. If you wished”

“I’m still married. Are you sure you want to date a man who cheats on his husband?”

“You would never feel the need to cheat on me” Hannibal smirks.

“You’re incredibly confident”

“If you loved Matthew, you’d never even considered my offer”

“I do care for him. I suppose I owe him the truth”

Hannibal squints at Will.

“Am I to assume…?”

“You knew, even yesterday you were right. The decision was already in my head. I don’t want you with another man. I want to have you only for myself. I’m greedy like that”

Hannibal smiles.

“That’s good. Because I don’t want to share you anymore, either”

“You can tell your friend to go fuck himself” Will says with a smirk and approaches Hannibal to kiss him.

“I already have” Hannibal replies.

Will pulls away slightly and frowns.

“You were _that_ sure?”

“I guess it was hope rather than certainty but I’m glad I was right”

They continue kissing and Will places his hands on Hannibal’s ass.

“I should go. And talk to Matthew”

“Should I wait for you? After”

“Yes” Will says simply and before he leaves the flat, he asks “Do you have any condoms?”

Hannibal’s lips twitch.

“Yes”

Will nods and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm leaving on holidays on Thursday so if there's no update tilll then, it will be after 14th :/  
> the same with my other fic


	11. I'm having an affair

Will comes home later that evening, ready to confess to cheating. He opens the door and finds Matthew in the kitchen. He has a can of beer in his hand.

“How was work?” Matt asks with a faint smile.

“Good. I mean bad. We still haven’t… never mind. Is something wrong?”

“Um, I don’t know. You tell me. I got fired today”

“What?”

“Yeah. I’m not sure why. I was good at my job, I never caused any trouble and I don’t think they are downsizing. But here I am, fired”

“I…uh…”

This is not good. This is terrible.

“But I thought…”

Matthew puts down the can of beer and approaches Will. He lifts his hands and strokes his husband’s cheek.

“I thought maybe that’s how it was supposed to be. I lost my job so now I have more time, at least until I find a new one. So maybe we can get back to our last fight. You remember what you asked me?”

Oh, no. This is worse than terrible. Does he want to talk about kids right now?

“I, uh… Matthew, this is a bad idea”

“Why? You no longer want this?”

“Can we sit down? I want to tell you a few things”

Matthew nods. They take a seat opposite each other by the kitchen table. Will takes a deep breath. Here it goes. Ready or not.

“I’m having an affair”

Matthew blinks.

“I’ve been seeing another man”

“How long?” Matthew asks.

“A few weeks”

There is no word for the amount of pain on Matt’s face. There is no shock though, like he was maybe expecting this?

“Do I know him?”

What? Is that really what he wants to know? Will starts feeling unimaginably guilty and he can feel Matt’s disappointment and sorrow.

“No” better leave it this way.

“Are you sure I’ve never met him?”

“Why do you care so much about it?”

“You keep lying, Will. You never lied. You ran away but you never lied”

Now Will seems to be the one not comprehending.

“I checked your phone one night when you were sleeping. I know it was a low move but I had to. I had to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. You were acting so strange. I mean I believed we really got over the fights and that we were happy again. Then there were those long hours and… You were just different. And they say when a man brings you flowers, he probably has a lover. So I went for it. I checked the phone and I found a bit too many text messages to Dr Lecter for me to believe your meetings concerned my condition”

Will frowns.

“I was hoping he was just a friend. I mean I get that you might have talked and maybe even bonded while I was unconscious. But you just confessed and that’s the most reasonable explanation”

“He _is_ a friend”

“I thought maybe I could offer you something, something to keep you by my side after all but you know what? That would’ve been a great mistake. I hope you’ll be happy with him”

“I’m so sorry, Matthew” Will whispers.

“Don’t say you’re sorry because for sure you weren’t sorry when you were fucking him. Pack your bags and leave”

Will nods and goes to the bedroom to pack his clothes and laptop. The most necessary things for the time being.

He turns once again to look at Matthew but he doesn’t have to to know Matt’s expression. And here it is. Will leaves this comfortable life with a man he knows so well to experience an adventure.

Or maybe he jumps into another comfortable relationship?

He drives to Hannibal. The doctor hugs him when he sees Will’s face.

Will half-expects to be asked how he feels or anything about his talk with Matthew. Instead, he’s led to the kitchen and offered tea. He frowns and sips on the tea. It doesn’t taste like a normal tea. Or at least not like one Will is used to.

“So may I stay here for some time?” Will asks.

“As long as you wish. Do you want to take a shower?”

“Yeah”

Will leaves to the bathroom and Hannibal makes some room in the wardrobe for the man’s clothes. Later Will sets some of his clothes in Hannibal’s drawer and then lies in bed.

They cuddle. Hannibal’s strong and warm arms embrace the man, slightly smaller than him. And they relax. It should be only easier form now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so... i decided i'm concluding this fic :/  
> i hope it's okay  
> i'd rather focus on new ideas now ;)


End file.
